


some lose their way

by wrennette



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrennette/pseuds/wrennette
Summary: Seducing Thrawn has unintended consequences, and after, running to the Rebellion is Kallus' best bet. Thankfully he has a place there, waiting on him.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo
Comments: 24
Kudos: 154





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from Emily Dickenson's "Our share of night to bear"
>
>> OUR share of night to bear,  
> Our share of morning,  
> Our blank in bliss to fill,  
> Our blank in scorning.
>> 
>> Here a star, and there a star,   
> Some lose their way.   
> Here a mist, and there a mist,   
> Afterwards—day!
> 
> I've had this done or nearly so for some time, but I kept chickening out of posting it. So I'm sending it into the void all at once, and declaring it done. 

Superior officers taking a second look at his ass when he left a briefing had stopped scandalizing Kallus when he was a green midshipman in the Coruscant Home Fleet. Most of the time, nothing came of it except a slight, smug feeling of vanity. Most of the time, Kallus wouldn’t even dream of trying to exploit something as precarious as physical attraction - there was far too much downside when you were trapped on a ship together for the foreseeable future. But then, during most of his previous service, Kallus hadn’t been a rebel informant. And he’d never been checked out by someone like Grand Admiral Thrawn.

There had been rumours about Thrawn for years. But scuttlebutt could never quite agree on whether Thrawn really had a fetish for humans or not. And most officers either didn’t want to risk their careers to find out, or weren’t attracted to aliens enough to test those waters. If he’d been asked before he met Thrawn, Kallus would have said there was no chance he’d try to seduce the Grand Admiral. But then those gleaming red eyes dragged slowly over his frame, and Kallus - Kallus wondered what it would take, to gain access to the Grand Admiral in a more private venue. 

At first Kallus tried to convince himself that perhaps Thrawn was unaware of the signals he was sending. But if there was one thing Thrawn was known for, it was understanding exactly what he, and everyone around him, was doing and all possible repercussions. So when Kallus was asked to debrief in the Grand Admirals’ private office, and Thrawn watched him so intently Kallus felt stripped to the bone, he had to accept there was something more. He had watched Thrawn with others, and he was fairly certain there was no one else aboard who Thrawn stood quite so close to, nor loomed up behind with quite the same frequency. It was flattering, a bit alarming - and disconcertingly arousing. 

Kallus weighed his options quickly but carefully. Thrawn was impossibly dangerous. He was incredibly intelligent, and had a reputation for seeing through subterfuge. The Grand Admiral was also distressingly attractive to Kallus, and he was certain Thrawn had realized that every time he circled around behind Kallus and all but murmured in his ear, Kallus’ pulse raced with suppressed arousal. 

Finally Kallus decided he had to at least make himself available - if Thrawn didn’t take him up on the offer, there would be a certain amount of embarrassment, but that could in some ways be a useful tool in itself. It could be even more useful if he succeeded in bedding the Grand Admiral. With such intimate access, he might be able to learn some of Thrawn’s plans. There was no way he could fully trust the man of course - Thrawn’s loyalty to the Empire was absolute. He would just have to be very, _very_ careful.

When he had finished reporting to Thrawn, alone in the Admiral's quarters, Kallus waited. Thrawn, as had become somewhat expected, circled around behind Kallus, close enough Kallus could feel the faint warmth of his body. Kallus, breaking with his usual pattern of behavior over the past weeks, turned, facing Thrawn. The Grand Admiral paused, a single eyebrow raising in silent question. 

“Forgive me if I overstep myself, Admiral,” Kallus murmured, signaling his intent by letting his gaze flicker down to Thrawn’s mouth. He stepped in that last little distance and kissed Thrawn, light and tentative, keeping his eyes open, ready to retreat if there was the slightest hint of displeasure. Thrawn let out a low, pleased sound, and then his hand was firmly grasping the back of Kallus’ neck and holding him in place, his lips parting as he kissed deep and hard. 

Kallus moaned helplessly into the dominating kiss, stroking his hands up the pristine front of Thrawn’s uniform. Thrawn pulled back slightly after a few moments, glowing red eyes searching Kallus’ face. Kallus didn’t have to act, he simply let his usual stoic expression fall away, his arousal clear. Thrawn smirked, and shifted his hold on Kallus’ neck to force him to his knees. With a flush, Kallus obeyed, keeping silent as he knelt at the Admiral’s feet. He licked his lips, fairly certain what would happen next. 

“There will be no advantage in this,” Thrawn warned, his tone - almost gentle, Kallus thought.

“I expect none,” Kallus lied. Any advantage he found after all, would be for the rebels, not himself. 

“Then you may pleasure me,” Thrawn said, his voice growing deeper. “Keep your hands on your knees.” 

“Aye aye Admiral,” Kallus agreed, and nuzzled up between Thrawn’s legs. It was a little disconcerting, not feeling what he would from a human partner. It was a little exciting too. Thrawn ran a bit cooler than human standard, and even through the layers of his uniform, it was clear that the genital arrangement, while somewhat similar, wasn’t identical to a human.

Thrawn’s long cool fingers sank into Kallus’ hair, tugging gently and guiding him. Kallus let out a soft moan of pleasure when Thrawn pulled, signalling his approval of that touch. Thrawn let out a soft huff, but obliged Kallus by guiding him a bit more roughly as Kallus rubbed his face between Thrawn’s legs. When Thrawn had decided he’d teased them both enough, he pulled Kallus away, then single handedly dispensed with his belt and opened his fly. He barely exposed himself at all, but it was still one of the prettiest sets of genitals Kallus had ever seen - two shafts, neither too long nor terribly thick, and already oozing fluid. The moan Kallus let out was completely unscripted.

“Begin,” Thrawn commanded, his voice thick with lust. Kallus chanced a glance up and found those red eyes gleaming. With a shudder, he licked his lips, then, holding Thrawn’s gaze, he leaned in, laving his tongue between the two shafts. Thrawn swallowed audibly, then fisted his hand in Kallus hair and pushed him down. Kallus didn’t break eye contact, and didn’t resist. He swallowed around Thrawn’s paired lengths as they pushed into his throat, then moaned as his nose was rubbed against Thrawn’s hairless belly. If the Grand Admiral just wanted to fuck his mouth, that was perfectly fine with Kallus. 

Thrawn hummed softly, and began to move his hips in long, undulating thrusts. Kallus couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be fucked by the Chiss, two cocks stroking deep inside him. He moaned at the thought, and Thrawn’s rhythm hitched. Kallus congratulated himself on finding a weakness, and let himself grow vocal, his moans and whimpers intermingling with obscene slurps as Thrawn used his mouth. 

“Do you like that?” Thrawn asked, in to the hilt. Kallus moaned an affirmative, mind hazed with lust. It was the truth - he loved to give pleasure, to have his partner come apart under his mouth and hands. “Yes, you’re the type that loves to be fucked, aren’t you?” 

Kallus couldn’t help another moan of pleased agreement, unsurprised that Thrawn had deduced that, and half desperate to be split open on those magnificent cocks. Thrawn let out a low sound of approval and then his fingers spasmed against Kallus’ head, the only warning before he pulled free. Kallus whined with loss, but a moment later spines expanded from both shafts as semen splattered over Kallus’ mouth and chin. Kallus moaned, opening his mouth to accept Thrawn’s copious seed, more than a little grateful Thrawn had possessed the control to pull out - those barbs would have torn up the inside of Kallus’ mouth, possibly his throat, depending on how deep Thrawn was when he spent. 

Thrawn released Kallus after a few more moments, and Kallus leaned in carefully, sucking and licking up every bit of Thrawn’s spend. Thrawn continued to stroke his hair, gentle now that his need had been assuaged. Kallus settled back on his haunches when he’d cleaned Thrawn, keeping his hands obediently on his knees despite that his own cock was aching and his chin was still splashed with Thrawn’s seed. 

“Yes, you are the obedient type, when it suits you,” Thrawn said with a slight smile. “If I told you not to touch yourself? Not to seek release until tonight?” 

“I am yours to command Admiral,” Kallus said, his voice utterly wrecked from Thrawn’s rough use of his throat. Thrawn’s eyes flared, and Kallus mentally congratulated himself.

“Return here at 2100 hours Agent,” Thrawn said, fingers stroking through Kallus’ facial hair before caressing his mouth. 

“Aye aye Admiral,” Kallus murmured, licking and kissing at the offered fingers, tasting Thrawn’s skin and the come he’d swept up on his fingertips. 

“Dismissed,” Thrawn growled, and turned away, roughly fixing his uniform. Kallus rose silently and wiped his face, then pushed his hair back into something like order, took a deep breath, and exited Thrawn’s quarters, ignoring his aching cock. He knew that between his swollen lips, slightly off-regulation hair, and obvious arousal it would be clear he was serving the Admiral in a more personal capacity. He found he didn’t quite care, despite the attention he’d always taken in the past to prevent being a subject of gossip. He still went to the nearest fresher to make sure he didn’t have come on his face.

As directed, Kallus reported back to the Grand Admiral’s quarters at precisely 2100. Rather to his surprise, when he rang for entrance, the door simply opened. Kallus entered, debating briefly how obvious to be. He’d already made clear he wanted to be fucked. There wasn’t much danger in being obvious with his desire for Thrawn. The only difficulty was ensuring he wasn’t torn open on Thrawn’s barbed cock, and even that challenge seemed enticing at the moment.

Thrawn was half out of uniform when Kallus walked in, the heavy tunic with its ranks of medals and ribbons discarded. Along with his crisp white uniform trousers, he wore a dark singlet, and Kallus could see every muscle in his torso defined beneath. Kallus approached directly, then went without speaking to his knees in front of where Thrawn sat reading. Thrawn looked down, and smiled slightly.

“What are your hard limits, Agent Kallus?” Thrawn asked, as if instructing him to report on an investigation. Kallus swallowed. 

“Hard limits? No blood, urine or fecal matter, no hard impact play, no restraints, no gags, no drugs,” Kallus said, reeled off. Thrawn nodded.

“And things you enjoy?” Thrawn asked. 

“I very much enjoy having my mouth used,” Kallus said, smiling slightly as he referred to their earlier tryst. “As you have surmised, I like to be fucked, and I like to be praised. I like a bit of roughness, so long as my hard limits are observed. Hair pulling, scratching and biting are fine, so long as I’m not walking around with visible uniform infractions.” Thrawn smirked a bit at that, knowing he’d sent Kallus away messy earlier. 

“While as I said I don’t like restraints, I enjoy being held in place by my partner, or ordered to hold position, being - tested a little,” Kallus continued. Thrawn’s smirk widened, and Kallus anticipated he was in for a thorough fucking. “I receive no pleasure from giving or receiving pain stimulus; I have a very high pain threshold, but it isn’t pleasurable for me to test that limit.”

“But some of your past partners have,” Thrawn said with quiet understanding. Kallus nodded. The Empire had a great number of sadists in their ranks, a fact which Kallus found himself more and more aware of as he navigated the dangerous path of a Fulcrum agent. Thrawn nodded, signaling his understanding. “So if I told you to strip naked and get on my bed, open yourself up for me?” Thrawn questioned after a moment's thought, voice not quite as steady as usual. 

“It would be my pleasure, Admiral,” Kallus said. Thrawn reached down, fisting his hand in Kallus’ hair and kissing him roughly. 

“Do so,” Thrawn directed. 

“Aye aye Admiral,” Kallus affirmed, having already figured out that Thrawn very much liked to be reminded of his elevated rank. 

Thrawn let go, and Kallus rose, crossing to the bed and sitting to pull off his boots. He stripped quickly and efficiently, folding his uniform neatly and setting it on a nearby chair. By the time he stepped out of his regulation briefs, he was fully aroused. 

“Lubricant Admiral?” Kallus asked, and Thrawn pointed silently to the drawers beneath the bunk. “Preferred position Admiral?” he asked as he climbed onto the bed. Thrawn rose and crossed to him at the gentle challenge, pushing him down onto the bunk. 

“On your back and spread your legs,” Thrawn commanded, and Kallus obeyed, pulse racing. He lubed his fingers and brushed them over his pucker. He’d been wondering what it would be like, to have the Grand Admiral’s focused attention. Now he knew - both terrifying and arousing. He teased his rim a bit, then slipped a finger into himself. 

Kallus’ breath hitched as he pushed that first finger in. It had been a while since he played with himself like this, usually he just jerked his cock before bed if he needed to relieve tension. Teasing his pucker felt good, and it felt even better with Thrawn watching him. He pushed in a second finger, moaning quietly. Too fast, but it still felt good, and he wanted so much more. He scissored himself open, lightly brushing his other hand over his nipples and belly and inner thighs, sensitizing his skin. Thrawn was watching him avidly, and it only aroused Kallus further. His cock was oozing precome, making his need obvious. 

Withdrawing his fingers, Kallus squirted some more lube onto his hand and got back to work, three fingers sliding in relatively easily. That was probably as wide as he needed to stretch himself to take Thrawn’s cocks, but he wasn’t quite comfortable enough to suggest the Grand Admiral get on with things and give him a thorough fucking. Instead he moaned as he pushed those three fingers as deep as he could, then carefully began working in the fourth, opening himself wide. 

Thrawn’s cool hands settled on Kallus’ ankles, then brushed slowly up his calves. Kallus opened his eyes, realizing that they’d fallen closed as he frigged himself open. Thrawn was naked, tall and lean, his torso and limbs completely hairless. When he leaned in, Kallus could feel the difference from human in Thrawn’s skin texture, rougher and thicker, not unlike sharkskin. Thrawn kissed the inside of Kallus’ knee, then gently dislodged his hand. Kallus moaned, sliding his hands behind his knees and holding himself spread and vulnerable. 

“I’ve reviewed your medical report, are you willing to go without a barrier?” Thrawn asked, rubbing himself against Kallus’ ass. “I have some, but they are - not ideally configured for a Chiss.”

“I prefer not to use a barrier if my partner is clean and willing,” Kallus agreed, pausing. “Your - spines Admiral?” Thrawn let out a low, rusty chuckle. 

“They will hold me inside you for a time, but humans are - durable enough internally that there won’t be any damage,” Thrawn said. “I’m given to understand it can be - quite pleasurable, to be hooked.” He paused, crimson eyes not leaving Kallus’ face. “I am guessing you have only coupled with humans before.”

“You guess correctly, Admiral.”

“I will pull out before orgasm if you’re worried?”

“I - I find myself curious to experience the full measure of coupling with you, Admiral,” Kallus admitted. “Please, fill me?” 

Thrawn growled at the politely voice requested, and sheathed himself in Kallus with a single deep thrust. While a similar size and mass to Kallus, Kallus was certain in that moment that Thrawn was stronger than him, which Kallus very much appreciated in a partner. Kallus cried out sharply as he was filled, riding back against the penetration. Like this, he could feel the hidden spines beneath Thrawn’s rough skin, and the element of perceived danger only made him more eager. 

Thrawn leaned in, biting and sucking at Kallus’ shoulders where the marks could be hidden. The placement, Kallus would discover, was quite intentional. Hidden, but also directly where the weight of his torso armour would rest, reminding him of his submission to Thrawn. Kallus clenched experimentally around Thrawn, and earned a rough hitch of Thrawn’s hips. 

They settled into a bruising rhythm, Thrawn fucking with long hard strokes that left Kallus whinging and breathless. It quickly became clear that Thrawn had more stamina for this coupling, and was intent on driving Kallus mad. Kallus was soon begging incoherently, Thrawn keeping him on edge with deep thrusts that rode hard over his prostate. 

“Please Admiral,” Kallus managed to gasp out, “what do you need? How can I please you?” Thrawn cried out at that, and slammed home. Kallus screamed as he felt the spines latch into him, and then he was coming as well, clenching helplessly around Thrawn as he was filled. 

“You did very well, Agent Kallus,” Thrawn murmured, and tipped his head up for a slow, deep, kiss. “Remain still a little longer.” Kallus whimpered into the kiss, body singing with pleasure unlike any he’d felt before. 

“Please call me Alexsandr, Admiral,” Kallus murmured, then returned Thrawn’s kiss with one of his own. 

“Alexsandr,” Thrawn acquiesced, and kissed him again, fingers scratching lightly at Kallus’ thick golden chest hair. 

They lazily kissed and touched while they remained linked, cataloguing the places that earned soft noises of pleasure. Kallus quickly discovered that Thrawn’s skin was tougher than that of a human, and that he subsequently enjoyed being touched with more pressure. Knowing that Thrawn’s blue skin wouldn’t show bruises, Kallus sucked kisses down his neck and bit at his shoulders in turn. 

“Just like that,” Thrawn encouraged when Kallus bit gently at the skin behind his ear. 

Kallus obeyed, kissing and biting until Thrawn pulled away, oversensitive. Shortly after, Kallus felt Thrawn’s spines unhook. Carefully, Thrawn eased free. Kallus whinged softly as he was left empty, flushing as he felt Thrawn’s cool seed trickle from his swollen pucker. 

“You look lovely like that Alexsandr,” Thrawn said, kneeling up and staring down at Kallus. 

Kallus flushed, having a good guess how he looked. He was splayed open and fucked out, dripping Thrawn’s come. His hips and shoulders were bruised, his mouth swollen and hair in disarray. In short, he looked thoroughly used. 

“I believe we shall be meeting like this - frequently,” Thrawn said with a smile that could only be called smug. 

“As you will it, Admiral,” Kallus agreed, holding his vulnerable position. Thrawn let out a low hum, then laid at Kallus’ side, spooning up behind him. 

“Rest,” Thrawn ordered. “I don’t doubt we’ll wake in plenty of time for you to get properly dressed in the morning.” 

“Aye aye Admiral,” Kallus acquiesced, and held himself very still until Thrawn’s breathing went slow with sleep. Even then, he remained still, relaxing in increments for some time. When he felt it safe, Kallus slowly extricated himself. Thrawn shifted slightly, but didn’t seem to wake. Kallus went first to the fresher, and cleaned himself up a bit. The spines had been a surprise at first, and it had been even more of a surprise to enjoy them so intimately. But it had felt incredible to have Thrawn hooked inside him, filling him with slippery come. A part of him couldn’t help but wonder at the logistics - and benefits - of sex with other species.

When he came out of the fresher, Thrawn seemed to sleep still, and so Kallus carefully found the datapad the Grand Admiral had been reading when he came in earlier. At first it appeared only to be leisure reading - a treatise on artistic depictions of the night sky. Kallus would have set it aside as inconsequential, save that Thrawn had annotated one of the figures. 

An ancient star chart - an ancient star chart that included Atollon’s location, clearly labelled. Cold fear lanced through Kallus. There were reasons a planet might be recorded one place but not another. But this - for Thrawn to have marked the illustration - it didn’t bode well. Kallus swallowed. Well. This was certainly a valuable pay off. 

If Thrawn knew for sure - Kallus waffled. If Thrawn knew for sure, logic dictated he would move against the rebel base on Atollon as soon as possible. But Thrawn - Thrawn was canny, Kallus knew that. It was possible the Grand Admiral was withholding his attack for some reason. Perhaps Kallus’ work to frame Lyste as Fulcrum had not gone as well as he had hoped? Had Thrawn begun this seduction for the same reason Kallus had let it play out? To try and learn more about his opponent? And if so, what had Kallus unintentionally revealed?

Kallus’ mind raced. He hadn’t given Thrawn much other than his sexual preferences, he didn’t think. Except that he’d made advances on an officer who was not human. While Thrawn might be reprimanded for bedding someone so much lower than him in rank, Kallus was technically outside the Fleet chain of command. Moreover, Kallus could be ‘re-educated’ for taking an alien to bed - systematically tortured until he was likely to never want to have sex again, never mind with a non human. He knew the process well - it was part of the reason drugs were impermissible in his bedroom - he had seen just how the substances could be abused to make a being betray themself. 

Setting the datapad down, Kallus returned to the bed. Thrawn still appeared to be asleep. Kallus wondered if Thrawn was simply that confident, or if he only suspected and did not yet know with absolute certainty that Kallus was an agent of his enemy. With a quiet huff, Kallus settled back into Thrawn’s arms. He knew little more than he had that morning, but that little weighed heavily on him. He would have to warn the rebels, and he would have to do so even more carefully than usual. 

Kallus woke to the soft pressure of teeth scraping along his collarbone. He moaned, reaching down blindly to encourage his partner. Not his berth, he catalogued. Thrawn, he remembered. 

“Admiral,” Kallus moaned, threading his fingers through thick, silky blue-black hair. 

“If I fuck you again before first meal,” Thrawn began. 

“Please Admiral,” Kallus begged, splaying himself open in offering. There was a chance he was figuratively fucked, so he might as well actually get fucked.

“So willing for me,” Thrawn praised, then pushed Kallus’ legs even further apart, again displaying his uncommon strength. He sunk in without any further preparation, clearly confident that Kallus was still loose and wet from the night before. Kallus moaned deeply. He wasn’t quite stretched enough, but that burn felt so good as Thrawn seated himself. With a partner he truly trusted, Kallus would have come undone at such deep, rapid penetration. The pleasurable fullness of being stretched around Thrawn’s twinned shafts was almost ecstasy inducing, even without that measure of trust. 

“Yours to command, Admiral,” Kallus gasped, playing up his obedience. 

Thrawn growled, leaning down and taking Kallus’ throat in his mouth, teeth perfectly framing Kallus’ adam’s apple. If he bit down hard enough, there would be no way to disguise the mark. He did bite, but not hard enough to break the skin, not even hard enough to bruise. It still sent pleasure racing through Kallus, his pulse hammering at the thought of the Grand Admiral marking him so blatantly. Already nearly at orgasm from the pleasure of being filled so rapidly, that bite was enough to set Kallus off, and he cried out sharply as he came, clenching around Thrawn. 

“So eager,” Thrawn murmured against Kallus’ skin, pressing a gentle kiss where he had bit down, and then he was coming too, grunting as his spines latched inside Kallus. Kallus moaned at the internal stimulation, going limp with pleasure as Thrawn filled him with come. The Chiss, Kallus had noticed, didn’t have external testes that Kallus could recognize, but he came profusely. The spend was thinner than that of a human, and slippery. It felt absurdly good filling him, then wetting down his crease. 

“You’re going to ruin me, Admiral,” Kallus said, not entirely teasing as he ran his hands up and down Thrawn’s muscular back. Thrawn, rather to Kallus’ surprise, grinned broadly, then shifted his hips just enough to jar his spines inside Kallus. Kallus cried out in pleasure, grinding against Thrawn. 

“Going to, Alexsandr?” Thrawn asked smugly, and began to hitch his hips in minute little movements that drove Kallus wild. Soon Kallus was sobbing with need, begging Thrawn to let him come again. Thrawn leaned down again, this time setting his teeth low enough on Kallus’ neck that the mark wouldn’t show. He bit hard, sinking his teeth in until he drew blood. Kallus screamed and came so hard he blacked out as he clenched around Thrawn’s barbed cocks. 

Kallus returned to consciousness with the knowledge he had been bound, drugged, and moved. It was more than adequate confirmation that Thrawn at least strongly suspected he was Fulcrum. Hazily he remembered Thrawn saying he had read his medical file. Which meant Thrawn knew exactly how Kallus would react to the drugs. Virtually every variety of spice and their derivatives made Kallus overheated, extremely affectionate, and suggestible. It was a weakness he carefully guarded, after having been taken advantage of more than once. It was a weakness he knew Thrawn would ruthlessly exploit. 

Mind racing, Kallus tried to see a way out of his predicament. If there was even the slightest hint of Thrawn’s true feelings in their recent interactions, it might be possible he could at least make the Grand Admiral question his conclusions, disguise his loyalty to the rebellion by burying it behind his attraction to Thrawn. After all, Thrawn wasn’t the first ranking officer Kallus had ended up in bed with, and it was likely Thrawn suspected or outright knew that. He’d just have to try and shift blame for any reticence Thrawn had noticed there, it wouldn’t be out of character he knew. ISB trained their agents to be discreet in personal matters, since liaisons were an avenue for blackmail and coercion if widely known. 

“Agent Kallus,” Thrawn said, running his hand lightly down Kallus’ side. “Or perhaps I should call you Fulcrum?”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered you think me capable of such deception or ashamed I fell for your seduction, Admiral,” Kallus gasped out. That light touch sent need racing through him. Kallus let it. His attraction to Thrawn was unfeigned, even if he’d gone to the Grand Admiral’s bed with ulterior motives. If he let the lust take him, it would help disguise any untruths he might speak. Thrawn had overplayed his hand by drugging him. It would make him friendly, yes, but it didn’t stop him from thinking, from planning.

“You deny then, that you are a rebel informant?” Thrawn asked, kneading Kallus’ ass. Kallus just moaned, pushing into the touch as his pucker was exposed. 

“Please Admiral,” Kallus gasped out, and Thrawn made a wordless sound of enquiry. “Fuck me, please, you know how I react to spice.” Thrawn’s hold on him grew slightly possessive. Kallus had a feeling he was remembering the reports of just how willing Kallus was under the influence - how he’d been passed around by a squad of stormtroopers and only asked for more when they were all spent. 

“Yes, you turn into a talkative slut,” Thrawn murmured, thumb slipping easily into Kallus’ well-fucked anus. Kallus moaned, face heating even as he tried to push back on that single digit. It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough. 

“Yes, slut for you, Admiral,” Kallus moaned. Focusing on his need allowed him to ignore everything else. But it also made him feel it so much more. He really would do just about anything for Thrawn’s cocks right then. Anything but sell the rebellion. “Please, please fuck me Admiral,” he panted, and Thrawn’s thumb opened him wider. Kallus felt Thrawn’s seed trickle out of him, and moaned. “Please Admiral,” he begged, and was rewarded by the rough _thunk_ of Thrawn’s uniform belt hitting the floor. Kallus moaned brokenly as Thrawn roughly pushed into him. It felt impossibly good to be filled.

“Is that what you needed, slut?” Thrawn asked, and Kallus moaned, nodding. He had to give Thrawn a certain amount of credit for ingenuity - the Grand Admiral had clearly recognized that an ISB Agent of Kallus’ rank and experience would be extremely resistant to the usual methods of interrogation. The trouble was of course, that pleasure inducing tactics - and quite a few other non-standard techniques - were equally useless. That wasn’t going to stop Kallus from twisting this as much to his advantage as possible, even if that was only getting thoroughly fucked. “You aren’t going to come until you tell me what I want to know,” Thrawn warned, and Kallus let out a breathy laugh. 

“I’m no rebel, Admiral,” Kallus purred, riding back on Thrawn’s cocks. “Should I have told you I usually don’t respond well to interrogation role play? Not when I’m supposed to be the subject anyway.”

“This is no role play Agent,” Thrawn growled. 

“Alexsandr, please Admiral,” Kallus pushed, because being the agent would work against him in this. Being a man Thrawn wanted to fuck - at least a little bit - that could certainly work in his favour. Thrawn let out a sound Kallus couldn’t quite decipher, but he began fucking hard and fast, using Kallus roughly. Kallus keened, sinking into it, focusing on the pleasure and responding to that, begging Thrawn to hook inside him, to fill him with come. Thrawn obliged with a growl, hooking deep as he released. 

Kallus blacked out with pleasure as he orgasmed, going limp in the restraints. He was still bound when he woke, but the spice wasn’t hazing his mind as much. He still wasn’t at optimal coherence, and wasn’t sure how he’d get himself out of this, but he felt less like he might have a stroke at any moment. He also felt the internal abuse of having Thrawn inside him again. Without the haze of the drugs, it read as pain now, rather than pleasure. Pain was good though. Pain helped him think.

“How do you feel?” Thrawn asked, running a hand over Kallus’ back. 

“Rode hard and put away wet, Admiral,” Kallus said honestly. He knew he’d invited the aggressive fucking. And knew he would likely try to provoke Thrawn in that direction again, despite the pain that lanced inside him. But better to be brutalized like this than allow Thrawn to find the rebels. 

“You _did_ ask for it,” Thrawn said, and there was a note in his voice that sounded almost teasing.

“I did Admiral,” Kallus agreed. “I’d apologize about coming without permission, but we both know that isn’t strictly under my control at the moment.”

“Well your coherence is certainly improving,” Thrawn remarked, still touching Kallus idly. By now Kallus was sure that the attraction was honest on Thrawn’s part as well. Unfortunately, so was the entirely valid suspicion. Kallus ran through possibilities. Mostly he had to get free, had to get a message to the rebels that Thrawn was possibly onto their location.

“Drugs are wearing off Admiral,” Kallus informed him, and Thrawn hummed, then slid two fingers easily into Kallus. Kallus keened, flinching from penetration for the first time. 

“Too much?” Thrawn asked, even as he pushed in a third finger. Kallus was plenty loose and wet, but he also felt every place Thrawn’s barbs had latched inside him. 

“You’re not a small man Admiral,” Kallus chided gently, as if that last coupling hadn’t been completely non-consensual due to his drugging. 

“You just have to tell me what I want to know,” Thrawn reminded, and his fingers found Kallus’ overstimulated prostate. Kallus screamed. He was most tender there, where Thrawn had latched repeatedly. Thrawn rubbed his other hand over Kallus’ flank even as he rubbed Kallus’ tender gland. All Kallus registered was pain, and it soon became unbearable enough that he simply blacked out. 

When Kallus came to, he was in the medbay. He could feel low grade sedatives keeping him a bit floaty, and the sense of disconnection that spoke of high grade painkillers. They would keep him a bit off balance, but not nearly to the degree that the spice Thrawn had dosed him with would. He probably wasn’t in the clear yet, Kallus reasoned. Thrawn would be keeping a close eye on him for a while yet. And just because this unconventional interrogation failed, that didn’t mean Thrawn wouldn’t try again. 

Kallus sighed. He’d have to get out. If Thrawn was suspicious enough to try something like this, anything he discovered might be tainted. Get free. Warn the rebellion. Kallus firmed his resolve. Quieting his mind, he let himself drift. He just had to get free.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rebel command, this is Fulcrum. I have reason to believe Grand Admiral Thrawn is aware of both my identity and your location. This post will cease to transmit after this message. Any further contact will be in person. May the Force be with you._

Zeb listened again to the saved message. Kallus hadn’t even bothered using the scrambler to disguise his voice. Worry tangled in Zeb’s gut, and he huffed softly in annoyance. He had never meant to care for this man. Kallus had been the Empire personified when their paths first crossed, cold and unfeeling. 

It was a mask, Zeb knew by now. No man could truly exemplify the Empire without mutilating their soul. Some simply cut away their morals, their honour, their empathy, without regard. Zeb was certain Kallus had tried. But some little kernel of honour and empathy had remained buried deep in Kallus, and evidently the warmth of Zeb’s simple kindness on Bahryn - the bare decency of helping the man survive the frigid night - had coaxed that seed to life.

Over the past months since Kallus had become Fulcrum, the information he had provided had been frequent and reliable. The rebels had made good use of every tip, and it seemed the Imperials had finally taken notice. Zeb sighed, thumb hovering over the playback button. He pressed down, and listened to the message again.

Years of pain between them, and Zeb ached with the need to find Kallus, make sure he was whole and safe. The Ghost had been sent to the origination point of that last message, and found an abandoned transmitter and an almost too well hidden crate marked discreetly with the Fulcrum symbol. Within had been Kallus’ bo-rifle, a small glowing meteorite that Zeb instantly recognized from Bahryn, a few crisp Imperial uniforms for various ranks, and a pile of datachips. 

Not long after they’d cleared the station, they seen Thrawn’s _Chimaera_ , clearly intent on the same target. They’d slipped away with their loot, hopefully without drawing the Grand Admiral’s attention, and Zeb’s worry had grown ever since. Thrawn was a merciless opponent, and from what their other informants whispered, he was taking Kallus’ defection personally.

Somehow, over the months, knowing it was Kallus on the other end of those transmissions - it had shifted something in Zeb that he’d thought was nigh immutable. Kallus’ honest regret about the fall of Lasan had helped. The indication that he’d been an honourable man before the Empire swallowed him up helped too, as had his repeated assists when the Ghost crew were in a pinch. Zeb knew quite a few defectors by now, knew they were all punched a bit off center but not necessarily bad people. Somewhen in there, he’d come to respect Kallus, and not only for being a stubborn asshole who didn’t know when to quit. 

Zeb huffed quietly. He was going to find that damned man, and shake him until his teeth rattled, then hug the stuffing out of him. Bloody Imp, making him worry like this.

“Zeb?” Kanan called, and Zeb rose from his bunk, tucking away the recording and heading towards the communal space. The others were already gathered ‘round. 

“We may have a lead on your boyfriend,” Ezra teased, and Zeb growled softly, ears pinning back. 

“The Empire is finally admitting an ISB Agent went rogue, bounty hit the holonet a few minutes ago,” Sabine said, and tapped the emitter. Zeb blinked as the bounty advert resolved. Clearly the standard image from Kallus’ file had been used, depicting the agent in Imperial uniform from the armpits up, rank bar gleaming on his chest, everything perfectly pressed. He wasn’t wearing the armour, but otherwise he was exactly as Zeb remembered, dour and unsmiling, hair slicked back from his even features.

Ezra let out a low whistle, breaking Zeb’s attention from Kallus’ handsome face. Zeb glanced over the other information, and understood the sentiment. The price on Kallus’ head was astronomical, and the Empire wanted him alive. Which meant they wanted him for questioning. Zeb didn’t doubt such a fate was likely worse than death. 

That night, Zeb woke not from his usual nightmares of the fall of Lasan, nor ones of his crew - his family - being hurt or killed. He woke trembling, with visions of Kallus battered and bleeding seared across his mind. He knew the man could withstand a great deal of pain. It was likely he’d been trained to resist torture. Somehow, that didn’t make Zeb feel any better.

Sabine, through her own knowledge as a former bounty hunter and her connection with Ketsu, did her best to figure out where the real hunters thought Kallus would be hiding. Despite her best efforts, it was happenstance that they crossed paths with Kallus - and those hunting him - some months later. The Ghost had snuck on planet for a quick supply run, not even looking for Kallus on this stopover, when Ezra’s voice broke comm silence. 

“Uhhh, guys?” Ezra asked, “I think I have eyes on Fulcrum. He doesn’t look so good.” 

“Call it out,” Zeb demanded, quickly securing the crate he’d been loading and preparing to go to Ezra’s position on the perimeter. 

“I’m not entirely certain it’s him, he’s shaved his face and dyed his hair,” Ezra warned, “but he’s also being dragged into hanger Cresh-7. They’ve beat him up pretty good.”

“Follow them if you can, see what you can learn, but wait for us to engage,” Kanan directed. “We’ll meet you at your watchpost to figure out a plan.”

Zeb settled his bo-rifle on his back, and started towards Ezra’s last position. It took a little time to get assembled, longer to hash out a plan. Zeb was champing at the bit, wanting to just race in blaster blazing, although he knew that wasn’t likely to end well. Finally, they had something like a plan. Zeb, thankfully, was assigned the task of going in after their possible missing man. The others reasoned he was the most able to make a positive identification if Kallus had disguised himself. Zeb didn’t care about the reasoning. He just wanted to get Kallus. 

When they blew their way into the ship, Zeb’s sensitive ears could easily pick out the sounds of someone grunting, flesh hitting flesh. He growled, bounding forward and following the sound. Sabine shouted after him, then sighed and followed in his trail. By the time she reached the cell door, Zeb was already inside, the control panel next to the hatch sparking and showing clear signs of being shorted with the ungently applied staff end of a bo-rifle. 

Inside, Zeb had gone still, staring wide eyed at the scene in front of him. A lean, well muscled man with dull brown hair was kneeling on top of and strangling a half dressed bounty hunter with his bare hands. Everything else about the bound man was bare too. The man looked up as Sabine came in, revealing a swelling eye, broken nose, and face smeared with blood. Zeb would still know those golden eyes everywhere, even like this, glassy and pupils blown wide. 

“Kallus?” Zeb asked carefully, pointing his blaster away from the naked man in front of him. The bounty hunter went limp, and the man rose, rolling broad shoulders and sending a ripple of motion through his well defined musculature. Bruises of varying colours littered his bare torso, blood spatter dotted his shoulders and chest, but the body hair that covered his pectorals and trailed down his stomach was honey blond, only a shade or two darker than the thick blond hair that usually covered Kallus’ head and cheeks. Zeb forced himself to look away before he followed that trail all the way down, instead noting that just as thick, if slightly paler, hair covered the man’s forearms.

“Hello Garazeb,” the man greeted, which was all the confirmation Zeb needed to be sure this was Fulcrum - _his_ Fulcrum - Kallus. Despite that, Zeb approached carefully, not sure what Kallus had been through or how he’d react. As he did, Kallus shifted his hands and pulled, dismantling the binders on his wrists in a clearly practiced move. The restraints clattered loudly to the floor as Kallus knelt and began rifling through the armour and clothing of his former captor.

“Are - are you _high_?” Zeb asked incredulously as he drew closer, noting the faint tremours in Kallus’ hands, fitting that with his glassy eyes and blown pupils. 

“Standard practice for high value targets,” Sabine informed them from the doorway. “The thinking is the spice will mellow them out, make them less dangerous.”

“Oh, spice makes me friendly alright,” Kallus said, pushing his loose hair back out of his face. It fell back over his face immediately, hanging greasy and lank past his chin. “Still doesn’t mean I want that scum anywhere near me without his pants on. But then, they weren’t terribly smart. They also thought taking my weapons and clothes made me less dangerous.” He shrugged and smiled, broad and feral, showing all of his teeth. Zeb huffed and closed the distance between them then, hugging Kallus close and snuffling against his neck.

“Probably a bad idea unless you want me to hump your leg like a tooka in heat,” Kallus warned, voice thin and strangled. Sabine blushed profusely beneath her helmet and turned away. That didn’t keep her from hearing the rustle of clothing and Kallus’ quiet keening. A few moments later, Kallus let out an obscene moan. Sabine wondered idly if it was possible to spontaneously combust from embarrassment. 

“Weren’t kidding,” Zeb breathed, more than a little turned on by the naked, pliant man in his arms. 

“Nope,” Kallus said cheerily. “Like I said, spice makes me friendly. There are reasons I don’t use recreationally.” 

“Makes you chatty too,” Sabine noted aloud, still not looking over. She’d seen enough of Kallus to last a lifetime. He was well built, but definitely not her type - too many dangly bits.

“Nah,” Kallus said dismissively, “well, maybe,” he admitted. “Don’t usually get high around people I trust.”

“Alright, let’s get you some clothes and get out of here,” Zeb said, taking command. “As much as I appreciate the show, I’m not sure anyone else will.” Kallus let out a low chuckle, stooping to grab the bounty hunter’s trousers and pull them on - they were too small, the waistband not buttoning around his hips, but he didn’t seem to mind over much. Kallus led the way out of the cell with the bounty hunter’s utility belt over his shoulder and a purloined blaster in his hand, his new trousers just barely clinging to the curve of his ass.

“The Imp is high,” Sabine announced when they returned to the Ghost. Kallus just grinned and shrugged.

“Can you answer questions or should we let you detox?” Kanan asked, mouth twitching slightly. Kallus shrugged. 

“You can ask, don’t know how helpful I’ll be,” Kallus admitted. “Can I get something to drink?” Zeb steered Kallus into the common area with a soft laugh, and directed him into a seat. 

“So, you got found out,” Ezra started with, a touch smug. 

“Thrawn probably knew, or at least strongly suspected by the time you left the Chimaera, yes,” Kallus admitted, after chugging down a glass of water. “He’d been - keeping a closer eye on me even before that. I let him fuck me so I could access his quarters. He had notes on Atollon, and I couldn’t be sure if he was certain of the base location then or not. But I decided he probably knew enough that anything I found to send you was likely to be a trap. The next morning after we fucked again, he drugged me, tried to fuck a confession out of me, so I figured getting off the ship was my best bet.” Kallus shrugged, then frowned slightly. “What’s with that face?”

“What’s with - Kallus. You just said you _purposefully_ slept with _Thrawn_ to get information?” Hera sputtered out. “And then he -” she shook her head, stomach churning. Kallus shrugged.

“He started checking me out first,” Kallus said. “Besides, have you _seen_ Thrawn? Kriff yeah I offered to suck his - whatever.” He made a vague downward gesture, and Sabine couldn’t hold in a slightly hysterical laugh at the looks of mingled shock and disgust on Hera and Ezra’s faces. “What?” Kallus asked, looking up at Zeb. “I thought you lot were s’posed to be open minded and all that rot. He’s a helluva lay when he doesn’t decide to mix fucking and interrogation, not that _that’s_ ever worked well on me.”

“Oh my gods,” Hera whispered, more than a little horrified. Kallus just sounded so damned proud of getting in Thrawn’s bed, but the implications were more than a little troubling to her. How _exactly_ had their Fulcrum been sourcing his intel? And she didn’t even want to think about the fact that Kallus evidently thought being intimate while drugged and unable to fully consent was acceptable.

“I think maybe we can wait until Kallus comes down off the spice,” Kanan said, his earlier amusement fading. The realization that they weren’t behaving much better than the Empire settled heavy in his gut. “Why don’t you get him settled in Zeb.” Zeb nodded, gently urging Kallus to his feet. The former agent had been snuggling against his side already, and staggered as close to Zeb as he could, rubbing his face into Zeb’s fur. He said something, muffled into Zeb’s arm, and Zeb grimaced. Hera cocked her head expectantly. 

“He likes how soft and fuzzy I am,” Zeb sighed, settling his hand in Kallus’ dyed hair and stroking gently. Sabine couldn’t help another awkward giggle at that. 

“Go on,” Kanan urged, and Zeb steered Kallus off to his bunk. Kallus went easily, clearly trusting Zeb to guide him. In his quarters, Zeb gently pushed Kallus towards the berth. Kallus leaned in and hugged Zeb, nuzzling against his chest. 

“Get in the damn bed Kal,” Zeb sighed, a bit amused by Kallus like this, but worried too. “You can sleep it off.”

“Stay with me?” Kallus asked, peering up at Zeb. Zeb waffled. He had found himself very appreciative of Kallus’ naked form earlier, but this handsy, affectionate, and sky-high Kallus was also a bit unnerving. While he’d thought at length over the past months about what he’d like to say to Kallus when they met again, and that had often involved kissing the man senseless, he didn’t want to take advantage. And with Kallus so compromised by the spice, Zeb knew he _would_ be taking advantage if anything happened. 

“Can you keep your hands to yourself?” Zeb asked, already reaching up to unbuckle his armour. 

“Probably not,” Kallus admitted, wilting slightly. “I - was I too friendly earlier?” he asked, hunching in on himself. 

“It was a bit unexpected,” Zeb said carefully. “You’re high as a kite mate, I won’t hold it against you. I just don’t want you to regret this later.”

“I may not remember this later,” Kallus said. “Like I said, last time I was this high it was Thrawn’s fault and I still begged for his dick - dicks? - I don’t know, there’s two of them anyway.”

“More than I needed to know,” Zeb warned, and Kallus shrugged again, then nearly fell over trying to take off the trousers they’d found for him in the bounty hunter’s ship. Zeb sighed, then finished stripping down to his shorts. Kallus was naked again by that point, and watching Zeb with that glittering, black eyed gaze. 

“I _want_ to remember this,” Kallus said, a bit breathless. Zeb growled, leaning over Kallus and rubbing their cheeks together. It didn’t feel right, with Kallus’ face so bare. He reached up, gently stroking his jawline. Kallus moved easily with the touch, giving Zeb his throat with a low sound of pleasure. “Safe,” Kallus mumbled, more to himself than anything, and Zeb’s heart stuttered in his chest. 

“Yeah mate, you’re safe with me,” Zeb promised, and climbed into the bunk, gathering Kallus into his arms. Kallus clung close, and after a moment, started to tremble. “You’re safe,” Zeb reassured, “let go, I’ve got you.”

“Garazeb,” Kallus managed to get out, and then he dissolved into quiet weeping, trying to climb inside Zeb’s skin. Zeb let out a low noise of distress, then began making quiet soothing sounds, rubbing his hands over Kallus’ bare back. Slowly Kallus stilled and quieted, and when Zeb looked down, he saw that the man had passed out. Zeb huffed softly, but only shifted enough to ensure they would both be comfortable.

Zeb dozed lightly for a few hours, feeling more settled than he had in months. In sleep, Kallus relaxed, his breath whistling softly in and out of his mouth. Zeb couldn’t help but think him a bit adorable like this, even though it was the result of spice. Eventually, Kallus snorted softly and shifted wakefully, nuzzling into Zeb even as he began to stir. 

“I have you Kal, you’re safe,” Zeb rumbled, stroking Kallus’ hair. 

“Mmm, hungover,” Kallus muttered. Zeb snorted. 

“Yeah you were pretty high when we found you,” Zeb confessed. Kallus hummed and shifted, not really pulling away, just changing position a little so he could look up at Zeb. 

“We - I talked about Thrawn earlier?” Kallus asked, trying to piece things together. 

“Yeah, you told us how you figured he knew about Atollon and you being Fulcrum. Didn’t figure you for the type to sleep with command.”

Kallus shrugged, clearly not overly embarrassed that Zeb knew. Zeb huffed, and unconsciously dragged his claws a bit less gently over Kallus’ head, scratching at his scalp and tangling his fingers in the slightly longer hair. Kallus let out a low, shuddery moan, pushing into the rougher touch and then pulling away from Zeb with a flush. 

“Sorry,” Kallus murmured. “I know you’re not interested.” Zeb opened and closed his mouth a few times, then huffed again. 

“It’s not that I’m not interested,” Zeb said carefully. “It’s more that I want you to be aware and fully able to consent before I try anything.” Kallus looked up, that familiar bit of calculation back in his eyes. There was the hardass Zeb had - kriff - the hardass he’d started to fall for. “Come ‘re,” Zeb growled, tugging Kallus back against his chest. “Kriff you’re pretty.” Kallus flushed, peering up at Zeb from beneath his golden lashes. 

“Promise I’m sober now,” Kallus said quietly. “Have the headache and nausea to prove it.” Zeb huffed softly, leaning in to rub their cheeks together. 

“Miss your fur,” Zeb admitted, and Kallus chuckled softly. 

“It’ll grow back, the shave and hair dye clearly didn’t do as good a job of disguising me as they were supposed to,” Kallus promised, then leaned up a little further, lipping at Zeb’s ear. Zeb groaned deeply, hands sliding down to grab Kallus’ very nice ass. 

“Would also appreciate a given name before I fuck you,” Zeb growled, gently allowing his claws to tease the backs of Kallus’ thighs. 

“Given name is Alexsandr, you can call me Sasha,” Kallus murmured. “And I should probably bathe, I don’t remember the last time I was properly clean if you don’t mind waiting a bit.” Zeb sighed, but loosened his hold slightly. 

“I mean, we should probably get a slightly more sober debrief if you’re up to it,” Zeb admitted. Kallus let out a short, soft huff of laughter. 

“Yeah, probably,” Kallus admitted. “Rain check?” Zeb growled, but nodded, gently manhandling Kallus so he could cup his smooth jaw and look into his eyes. 

“Yeah, rain check,” Zeb said, and Kallus grinned. “I’ll show you to the fresher and grab some of Kanan’s spare clothes for you.” Kallus’ smile softened at that, and he leaned up, kissing Zeb gently. Zeb held him lightly in place - kissing wasn’t really a thing back on Lasan, but he’d learned to like it well enough in the years since he’d been out in the wider galaxy. He definitely liked being kissed by Kallus. 

An hour later, they reconvened at the table in the common area. Kallus was dressed in some of Kanan’s spare clothing, hunched over a mug of caff cradled in both hands. Zeb sat at his side, arm laid more than a little possessively around Kallus’ shoulders

“I apologize for ah - oversharing earlier,” Kallus started off with, cheeks reddening slightly. “I know I get a bit over affectionate when I’m high, among other things. I wasn’t expecting the rescue, and I do appreciate it.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Hera said.

“Really though,” Ezra tacked on. “I don’t want know anything about your _or_ Thrawn’s sex life.” Kallus smiled slightly. 

“Noted. Let’s just go with I gained access to Thrawn’s quarters, and discovered that my cover was probably blown, and he potentially knew the location of the rebel base. I wasn’t sure I could get a message off the Chimaera without being caught, so I left my post as soon as I could reasonably jump ship, and contacted my usual handler. I’ve been on the run since then - I was briefly re-captured a few months ago, but I was able to get myself out of holding and steal some of their codes while I was at it. I’m guessing that’s when they went public about my defection,” Kallus explained. 

Kallus didn’t mention the times he’d gone back to Thrawn’s rooms after that first time, but before he could escape. He didn’t think they’d understand his willingness to sleep with an enemy, and one so dangerous as Thrawn. But allowing Thrawn to use his body had allowed Kallus to keep an eye on the Grand Admiral in turn, both of them willing to take certain risks. Hell, he’d jumped ship with Thrawn’s spend still wet inside him. And being fucked by Thrawn - that wasn’t exactly an unpleasant task, even if he had motivations other than the mind-bending pleasure of the actual act.

“I’m not sure what else you want to know,” Kallus admitted. 

“Do you know if the bounty hunters who had you were in regular contact with anyone? Anyone they might have bragged to about catching you?” Sabine asked. Kallus leaned back thoughtfully, then shook his head. 

“If they were in contact with anyone, it wasn’t in my presence, sorry, I’m no help there.”

“We’ve made a few jumps since then, we should be free and clear,” Hera reassured. “Right now our priority is getting you back to base so rebel intel can get a full debrief. They’ll know better the right questions to ask.” Kallus nodded at that. 

“I’d be glad to debrief them. I’m assuming Atollon is no longer base?” 

“We keep a small watchpost there, but we moved the main base,” Hera said with a nod, but didn’t say anything more. Kallus nodded, understanding that she didn’t yet fully trust him. If anything, her continued wariness raised her yet further in his already high esteem. 

“You _knew_ you’d be like that on spice?” Ezra blurted out after a long moment of silence, and Kallus snorted. 

“Really kid, that’s what you want to ask me right now?” Kallus asked in turn, but he was smiling slightly as Ezra shrugged. “Yeah, I knew I’d be like that on spice. Part of ISB training is exposing cadets to recreational drugs and those in the Imperial interrogation regime so we know how we’ll react. You’ve asked for no further knowledge about my sex life, so I won’t tell you what happened the first time I got high. And pretty much every subsequent time.” 

“That - doesn’t seem like a very good idea,” Hera said. 

“What part? Me getting high? I absolutely agree, it never ends well, except maybe this time.”

“That too, but mostly I meant the part where your instructors repeatedly exposed you to a substance they knew made you extremely vulnerable, and then didn’t - I don’t know, put in a medbay or something where you’d be safe until you were sober again instead of leaving you to fend for yourself.”

“I’m not sure what to tell you Captain; in case you hadn’t noticed, the Empire is pretty awful, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the higher up the chain of command you get, the worse the people are, with vanishingly few exceptions,” Kallus said with a shrug. “Thrawn got promoted to Grand Admiral for atrocities that would have had even a Captain of the Line court martialed, or at least hauled in front of an Admiral’s Mast in the Republic Fleet. Hell, every Imperial who survived Lasan got promoted, myself included.” He glanced over at Zeb and grimaced. “Sorry.”

“We’ve already had that conversation,” Zeb said firmly, and Kallus dipped his head. The past was the past. Neither of them could change that, just do their best going forward.

“Bahryn?” Sabine asked, and Zeb and Kallus nodded in unison. “Ugh, you two,” she huffed with a smile. As if to prove her point, they turned to one another, then back to her, Kallus’ eyebrow ticking up in question. “You’re adorable you know that?” she asked, and was treated to the sight of Agent Kallus blushing to his ear tips. Zeb couldn’t help but agree, and tugged Kallus closer against his side. Kallus went willingly, ducking his head and turning into Zeb’s bulk. 

“Sorry - uh - I know it’s a - sensitive topic -but - what do you mean every Imperial that survived Lasan?” Ezra asked. Kallus shifted, looking up at Zeb for a long moment. Zeb grimaced but nodded. Kallus sighed, then actually climbed into Zeb’s lap before looking over at Ezra. Zeb wound his arms around Kallus’ middle, squeezing gently in reassurance. 

“We were sent to Lasan with orders to quell an insurrection,” Kallus said. “The Empire was still solidifying their hold on a lot of worlds, which meant - well, Lasan wasn’t exactly an isolated event, although it was one of the more extreme cases. Imperial issued blasters just didn’t have enough stopping power against some non-humans, still don’t. Unless you got a headshot, you couldn’t drop an adult lasat with a single bolt, which presumably is why we were given orders to use anti-ship weapons against - you know - sentient beings. They also sent at best half the troops actually needed to handle the job. By the official statistics, Imperial fatalities on Lasan were over 80%, most of them clones and other veterans of the Republic military. 

“I can’t tell you if those numbers are completely accurate, or what the casualty numbers were, because that’s above any clearance level I’ve ever held, and I’m pretty sure the only copies of the raw data are held in the databank on Scarif, which I haven’t _ever_ had clearance to access since that’s an Intel station, not a Security station. I’d _guess_ that every Imperial who set foot on Lasan was injured to some extent. I _know_ I was in charge of a twenty man detachment of ‘troopers, of which I was the only survivor. I had a concussion, three broken ribs, a black eye, and a broken orbital bone. For about a month it wasn’t at all certain I would retain sight in that eye, even with bacta. 

“I’m not saying that for sympathy. You all know I’m a hard headed bastard, and we all know the Empire was the aggressor on Lasan - Lasan wasn’t a member of the Republic and had every right to continue autonomous self rule. Beyond that, every veteran of the GAR or Republic Fleet there - and there were quite a few of us - should have refused the order to use the ion disruptors. It was unlawful to the extreme, especially once we knew what the T-7 would do. We surrendered our honour when we didn’t mutiny. 

“I won’t pretend the Empire was there for any reason other than genocide. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about that, and begun to suspect the Lasat weren’t the only ones command was trying to kill off in mass. If we’d refused to fire, refused to participate in the genocide there, I’m sure we would have been lined up for execution ourselves. Surviving - and not eating a blaster afterwards - was tantamount to accepting the yoke. The Empire knew we would do their dirty work from then on, and they praised us for it.”

The longer Kallus talked, the more he leaned into Zeb. The longer Kallus talked, the tighter Zeb held onto him. Hera glanced at the others, seeing their dismay. While they knew in vague terms about the fall of Lasan, none had thought much about what that was like for the perpetrators of the atrocity. 

“That was - how many, two, three years after the Rise of Empire?” Kanan asked tensely. 

“Yeah, about that,” Kallus said with a dip of the head.

“And before - you were Fleet, weren’t you, before you were ISB?” Kanan asked. 

“Coruscant Home Fleet, I got my posting about three weeks before the Battle of Coruscant,” Kallus confirmed with a nod. Kanan swore. 

“Kanan?” Hera asked, not sure what the connection was. 

“My original oaths were made to the Republic,” Kallus said gently.

“Whoa, I didn’t realize you were that old,” Sabine blurted out.

“Hey,” Kanan said even as Kallus laughed. 

“Probably not more than a few years older than Kanan,” Kallus guessed.

“Battle of Coruscant I was - fourteen?” Kanan estimated. 

“Three, four years then,” Kallus said with a nod. “You want the rest of my service record?” 

“I kinda do, yeah,” Sabine admitted, earning a soft snort from Kallus. He’d relaxed slightly, although he was still clinging to Zeb’s forearms, fingers moving slowly through soft purple fur. Zeb was holding on just as much, one if his hands tucked up against Kallus’ belly inside his shirt, the other splayed against his chest over his heart.

“Like I said, I enlisted in Coruscant Home Fleet when I was 17, just in time for the Battle of Coruscant, and after that we were dispatched to re-take Mygeeto,” Kallus said, and Kanan looked over sharply. 

“Third battle of Mygeeto?” Kanan asked. 

“No, later. Reconquest of the Rim under Admiral Screed,” Kallus said with a shake of his head. “Everything was happening so fast, but I’m pretty sure that skirmish had been decided. The Tenth Army had a foothold, but they needed air support. Once Mygeeto was pacified it turned into a sweep through that whole sector, burning out Separatist holdouts. When we returned to Coruscant, I transferred to ISB and went to the academy. After I graduated, I went on missions as a probationary agent, mostly in the Core, to get my feet under me. 

“Maybe a year in, I was posted to Japrael sector, and had enough success that I was sent to Onderon as lead agent, with a squad of ‘troopers,” Kallus paused, shook his head. “Gerrera went through us like -” he paused again, again shook his head. “Anyway, I was out of commission for a few months after Onderon, then a few more soft missions so they could make sure I hadn’t cracked. Then Lasan. After that - it kind of all runs together in one big shit show until they started sending me after you assholes.” 

“That - kind of sounds like it sucked. A lot,” Sabine said carefully, and Kallus snorted. 

“In hindsight it absolutely did,” Kallus agreed. “Things they don’t tell you at the academy - the Empire pretty much just sucks.” He shrugged. “Cheers to ending the Empire.” Zeb huffed out a laugh at that. 

“Cheers mate,” Zeb agreed, nuzzling into Kallus’ hair. “On hopefully more cheerful topics, when’s the last time you ate?”

“Uhhh,” Kallus said unhelpfully, then grimaced. “It’s probably been at least a day, maybe longer,” he admitted.

“And when were you going to share that, hmm?” Zeb asked, nipping at Kallus’ ear. Kallus blushed again, pressing tight against Zeb and tilting up his chin so Zeb could bite down his neck. 

“When I remembered I should be hungry?” Kallus returned uncertainly, clearly knowing that was _not_ the correct answer. Zeb huffed, then stood, and they were treated to the sight of him lifting Kallus with him as he headed for the galley. “Zeb! Put me down!”

“Nope, sorry,” Zeb said, clearly not sorry. “You defectors are terrible at looking after yourselves.”

“Hey!” Sabine exclaimed at the same time as Kallus, and Zeb laughed, his big, full body laugh that made all of them smile along with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Kallus snuggled into Zeb’s warm bulk, earning a soft grumble from his still sleeping partner. He could hear Ezra snuffling softly in his sleep in the top bunk, and let himself just lay there a little longer. Thanks to well trained habit, Kallus was routinely one of the first people awake in the mornings on the Ghost, as Chopper usually had overnight watch. Carefully, he eased from the bunk, nuzzling one last time against Zeb before he went to ready himself for the day.

They were headed back to Lothal - evidently the very bare bones plans Kallus had seen months ago regarding manufacturing Thrawn’s secret starfighter there had finally reached culmination. The Ghost was being sent in to see if they couldn’t steal some information on exactly what the Empire was building. Kallus knew, and had readily shared, that it had something to do with the armour plant, but he hadn’t been able to discover more than the hint Pryce had already given him. Ezra was champing at the bit to help his homeworld, an inclination Kallus didn’t wholly understand but could readily support, especially since doing so would allow them to get one up on Thrawn.

Running scenarios in his head, Kallus quietly washed up and went to start the caff. The months since he’d been found by the Ghost crew weren’t without incident, but they were still some of the best months of his adult life. He’d been debriefed by rebel intelligence for a few weeks, and kept on base for a while longer before they started trusting him to go out on missions. The ridiculous bounty on him seemed to convince them eventually, that even if he wasn’t a rabid devotee to the cause, he had very few other places to go.

Kallus was fairly certain that if he really wanted, he could disappear fairly well in wild space or the unknown regions. He didn’t want to though. He wanted, more than he’d wanted almost anything else in his life, to make up for the awful things he’d done as an agent of the Empire. He wanted to earn the love and respect that Zeb so freely gave him. 

They’d fallen easily into a comfortable intimacy, sharing a bunk whenever Kallus was on the Ghost and talking quietly into the night. They’d acknowledged their mutual attraction from the start. When Ezra wasn’t around, sharing a bunk had soon become a pleasure beyond simple comfort. 

Kallus could easily say he’d never had a more attentive lover than Zeb, nor one who satisfied him so well. It wasn’t only physical either - he trusted Zeb almost implicitly. He slept better curled next to him, and adored just spending time with him. It had been years since he allowed himself to be half so open and affectionate with a lover, and he treasured every second of it, despite feeling profoundly undeserving of Zeb’s warmth.

Settling in with his caff, Kallus put aside his fond thoughts of Zeb and again went through their plan, such as it was. The first priority was getting through the blockade unseen and then gathering usable intelligence. Evidently there had been fairly regular contact from the dirtside resistance there, so at least they would have some resources on the ground. He sighed. 

Going into an op on such thin intel made Kallus feel like he was about to break out in a rash. Then again, he hadn’t exactly had a plan when he got into that escape pod with Zeb, and that had worked out - remarkably well so far. With another sigh, he shrugged and finished his caff, then went to refill his mug and start first meal.

By now Kallus knew about how the morning would go, and so he cooked enough for everyone instead of only preparing food for himself. By the time he sat to eat, Kanan and Hera had both appeared to take their first cups of caff and grab waffles off the warmer. Hera smiled warmly at Kallus as she sat, and Kanan groaned, laying his forehead on the table. Hera huffed and gently swatted his shoulder. 

“If you don’t at least pretend to be awake I’m going to drink all the nice caff Sasha made and then eat your share of the waffles,” Hera warned. Kallus flushed just a little. Somehow, all of the Ghost crew had learned his old nickname from Zeb, and they refused to call him anything else. Well - except Ezra, who occasionally called him _Agent_ with such a thick layer of smarm Kallus couldn’t resist calling him _Jabba_ in return. 

“No fair,” Kanan mumbled, and dragged himself upright enough to slurp up some of his caff. It would take at least another cup and a half after the first, Kallus knew, to wake Kanan fully. Unless of course they ran into trouble. 

“Life isn’t fair,” Kallus said dryly, and Kanan groaned. 

“Is it pick on Kanan day?” Ezra asked, making his appearance. Kallus smiled slightly, handing him a mug of chocolate. Ezra pouted, having more than once argued that he was old enough to have caff in the mornings. 

“Every day is pick on Kanan day,” the Jedi huffed, and Ezra shrugged, then helped himself to a heaping stack of waffles. 

“Leave some for Zeb or he’ll just steal yours,” Kallus warned, because that too was a not infrequent occurrence. Ezra huffed, but put a few of his waffles back on the warming plate.

In the end, they got the data recorder, destroyed the prototype, and - in a rather unexpected turn of events - got Governor Pryce to destroy the fuel depot, scuttling any plans for Imperial manufacturing on Lothal for the foreseeable future. There were a few precarious moments - they almost lost a few team members, but in the end, all the Spectres - including Kallus - made it safely back to the Ghost as Pryce and the fuel depot went up in a spectacular fireball.

They didn’t go off planet immediately, Ezra wanted to remain on Lothal, and evidently that necessitated a long talk out on the plains with Kanan. Kallus shrugged, filed that under Jedi business, and happily snuggled up with Zeb. Every successful mission he went on with the Spectres, he was reminded that this was the place he most wanted to be - at Zeb’s side. 

Sometimes Kallus had to take other missions, ferreting out and securing information for the rebellion. He didn’t mind exactly. He just preferred working off the Ghost. Thankfully, command was willing to take that into account for the most part. Which led to missions like the one to Aramis a few months later, looking for weapons and info. Ezra had remained on Lothal, and would be recipient of the arms they secured.

“I uh, we have a problem,” Kallus said a few hours after they’d split up to cover more ground, forgoing his usual strict adherence to comm protocol. 

“Fulcrum?” Hera asked. 

“Someone’s been using this warehouse to move spice,” Kallus said. “I just got a huge nose full. I - I don’t think it’s enough to endanger me, but uh - yeah. Sorry.”

“On my way to you,” Zeb commed. 

“Get him back to the Ghost Zeb,” Hera directed. “We’ll take care of this.” 

“Thanks,” Zeb called, and then turned his comm to silent. He moved as quickly as he could without detection through the shadowy streets. Ducking into the cargo warehouse, he found Kallus in the back room, curled against the wall. “Hey Sasha, how bad?” he asked quietly, slowly approaching his lover. 

“Not quite fully gone, but I’m ah - probably not going to be able to walk straight. For the record, this is me giving you my full and enthusiastic consent for the next few hours. There’s no one I trust more than you Zeb, I know you won’t hurt me, and hopefully won’t let me do anything too stupid before I sober up,” Kallus said. 

“Alright, let’s get back to the Ghost, okay? We’ll worry about the rest once we’re there.”

Kallus nodded, and accepted Zeb’s help to rise. Zeb tucked Kallus against his side, and ducked back out of the building. They’d barely walked a block before Kallus’ hand started roving over his chest. Zeb huffed softly, but continued on. A couple blocks more, and Kallus was trying to hug him without much success, uncoordinated from the powerful drug. Finally, Zeb decided it would be easier to just carry him, and settled Kallus on his hip. Kallus just let out a soft noise of contentment, tucked his head in against Zeb’s shoulder, and let himself be carried home. 

Given their past conversations about Kallus’ reaction to spice, and the way he’d reacted when they found him months before, Zeb half expected Kallus to be more aggressive. Once they got into the bunk, it was clear that affectionate was really the extent of it. He definitely wanted to be held. He wanted to stroke Zeb’s fur. He wanted to cuddle against Zeb, but he wasn’t particularly talkative, and he didn’t initiate sexual contact. Which meant - Zeb’s heart broke a little as he realized just how thoroughly his lover had been taken advantage of by those who should have had his best interests in mind. Zeb dozed off with Kallus cuddled in his arms, and woke when Kallus woke, pitched off the bunk, and puked on the floor. 

“Hungover?” Zeb asked softly, and Kallus just groaned. “Fresher?” he suggested, and Kallus nodded weakly. Zeb rose carefully, then gently helped Kallus to the fresher. He left him there to heave up his guts, and got the cleaning supplies to get rid of the mess in their room. By the time he had the floor clean, Kallus had dragged himself out of the fresher and had a cup of water to sip at. 

“I know I gave advance consent, probably should have given advance apologies and gratitude,” Kallus said quietly. 

“About that,” Zeb said, knowing Kallus likely didn’t want to talk about it, but needing to push a little. 

“I can tell we didn’t fuck,” Kallus said, and blushed, turning away slightly. “Thank you, I’m sure I wasn’t very well behaved.”

“You were actually, well behaved,” Zeb said, gently manhandling Kallus back into his arms. “This was all you wanted, just to be held, to be treated with kindness. I don’t know what you’ve been told before Sasha, but you’re not a slut. You weren’t asking for it. Whatever’s happened in the past? That’s on the assholes you were with.” Kallus flushed, and after a moment nodded, then turned into Zeb’s chest and quietly wept. 

“I - I love you, so much Zeb,” Kallus confessed quietly when the tears had passed. “I - I really don’t deserve you.”

“Maybe not, but you’ve got me,” Zeb promised. Gently he pulled Kallus’ chin up, rubbing their cheeks together and then kissing him softly. The thick blond hair had grown back over Kallus’ jaw, and he’d shaped it into a neatly trimmed beard. With the dark dye washed out, he looked like himself again, and he’d let his hair grow until it brushed past his shoulders, although he usually tied it back. Zeb thought it terribly handsome. The beard felt so lovely to rub against like this, and all that hair came in handy for grabbing on to. 

“Thank all the gods,” Kallus said fondly, and leaned in to nibble at Zeb’s ear. Zeb growled softly, dragging his claws lightly up the backs of Kallus’ thighs. Kallus moaned, shifting so he could rub against Zeb. “Need you Zeb.” Zeb shifted a bit himself, looking down into Kallus’ eyes. Pupils were wide and glittering, but with none of the glassiness of being drugged. Just pure, honest arousal. 

“Beautiful,” Zeb murmured, and nipped at Kallus’ mouth. Kallus flushed, but didn’t look away, understanding that Zeb wanted to be sure of his ability to consent. “How do you want this?” Zeb asked, rubbing Kallus’ back gently, hands sliding lower on each stroke until he was playing with Kallus’ ass. 

“Like this,” Kallus said breathlessly, “surrounded by you.” Zeb let out a low, pleased growl, tugging Kallus’ head back gently so he could press his teeth into that lovely neck. “Yes,” Kallus encouraged, needing the reassurance of Zeb’s desire. “Yours Zeb, please.” Zeb had to mark him, just a little, for that. Kallus moaned as he felt Zeb’s teeth press just a little deeper, barely breaking the skin. 

“How well did you wash up?” Zeb asked when he pulled back, hands continuing to knead Kallus’ ass, and Kallus moaned, understanding what Zeb was really asking. 

“Not well enough evidently, but if you give me a few minutes?” Kallus offered. 

“Don’t want to let you go,” Zeb grumped, but nodded, releasing his hold. Kallus gently ran his hands up Zeb’s broad chest, reveling in the warmth, the firmness of thick muscle and the softness of Zeb’s fur. 

“I’ll work quick,” Kallus promised breathlessly against Zeb’s ear, then nipped gently at the sensitive flesh before stumbling from the bed. 

Zeb huffed softly, but settled back. As promised, Kallus was back fairly shortly. Zeb stretched out his legs, using his longer reach with his lower limbs to pull Kallus close. He was careful about grabbing with his feet, knowing his hold would be stronger and less controlled. Kallus just grinned, and climbed up in Zeb’s lap to rub their cheeks together. Zeb shifted them down the bunk a little so he could lay down fully, then manhandled Kallus up so the man was straddling his face. 

“Better idea,” Kallus said, and shifted, turning so he lay top to tail on Zeb. 

“Excellent idea,” Zeb agreed, and pushed his cock free of its sheath. 

Kallus moaned, leaning in to lick gently over the dripping violet tip, then take the first few centimetres into his mouth. Zeb let out a soft grunt, but then returned the favour, laving over Kallus’ shaft and balls and anus with a long sweep of his tongue. Kallus keened, then sealed his lips around Zeb, grasped his long, thick shaft with both hands, and gave an eager moan. Zeb slowly began to thrust into Kallus’ mouth even as he spread Kallus wide and began to rim him. 

“I’m going to make you come like this, just from licking you out,” Zeb promised, knowing how much Kallus enjoyed the deep, wet penetration of his tongue. “And then I’m going to sit you on my dick just like you want, and fuck you ‘til you can’t think of anything but how good I feel splitting you open.” Kallus moaned, nearly gagging himself on Zeb’s cock in his eagerness. “Beautiful,” Zeb growled, and then buried his face between Kallus’ legs.

Between Zeb’s thick cock filling his mouth and the heady pleasure of Zeb’s tongue licking into him, teasing his tender rim and pushing deep against his prostate, Kallus was soon lightheaded. It felt almost like being high, but so much better than any drug Kallus had ever been exposed to. Zeb’s big hands kneaded his ass, held him open, held him in place, and underpinning Kallus’ intense need was the firm foundation of trust they’d built, Kallus’ certainty that Zeb would never hurt him. 

Kallus relaxed his jaw as much as possible, using both hands to guide Zeb’s slick shaft between his lips, more than content to just let Zeb use his mouth and throat. After all, Zeb didn’t want to come in Kallus’ mouth, so it was better to let him control the pace and depth of penetration. It didn’t hurt that Kallus very much enjoyed the sensation of Zeb’s cock stretching his jaw. 

Given the differences in their heights, he couldn’t take all of Zeb into his mouth in this position, which was probably just as well - on the rare occasions Kallus had managed to swallow Zeb to the root, Zeb had come hard and fast from the sensation of Kallus’ tight throat working around his shaft. The memory sparked a low moan of pleasure from Kallus, and then he purposefully moaned again, knowing that the vibrations from his vocalizations would only spur Zeb on. 

Zeb rumbled softly, kneading Kallus’ ass as he ate him out, slicking him open with plenty of saliva. They’d need more lubrication than just spit, but Zeb was intent on making Kallus come with his mouth for now. He played with Kallus’ buttocks and thighs, kneading the firm muscles until Kallus relaxed further. What tension remained, Zeb knew, would bleed away with orgasm. Of course, that only made Zeb more intent on driving his lover over the edge. 

The pleasure spiraled higher and tighter in Kallus as Zeb kept licking into him, occasionally pulling back slightly to suck on his balls or lap at his tender rim. Zeb shifted his hands again, claws scraping gently at Kallus’ crease as he again spread Kallus wide, then pushed his tongue deep, targeting Kallus’ prostate. 

Kallus moaned helplessly, those sharp little points of Zeb’s claws against his skin just the stimulus he needed to push him over the edge. He came, clenching on Zeb’s tongue, painting his seed over Zeb’s neck and chest. Zeb groaned, licking at Kallus’ fluttering pucker until Kallus pulled off his cock, trembling. Grabbing their tube of slick, Zeb squeezed out a generous amount directly into Kallus. Kallus choked back a cry, the lube cool against his overheated skin. 

“Okay?” Zeb asked as he sat up and helped Kallus straddle his lap.

“Please Zeb,” Kallus rasped out. “Need you.” Zeb nodded, then lifted Kallus and gently guided him into position, the blond trembling with need as the head of Zeb’s cock teased at his sensitive rim. “Gods,” Kallus breathed, and then he was sinking down, moaning as gravity helped him take Zeb to the root in one long slide. “Gods,” he repeated, “so good Zeb, needed this.”

“I have you,” Zeb promised, and gently shifted so Kallus was leaning against his chest. 

Kallus hummed softly, going limp and nuzzling against Zeb’s firm pectoral. Zeb let out a low rumble of pleasure, guiding Kallus’ face to his neck. He knew from other couplings that if allowed to sit like this long enough, Kallus could come just from the steady pressure against his prostate. He also knew his lover would usually start to beg for more long before that happened. For the moment, Zeb was content to just let Kallus sit impaled on his cock, clenching and moaning every so often as he acclimated. 

“Feels so good Zeb,” Kallus said breathlessly, and Zeb ducked his head to lip at the curl of Kallus’ ear. Kallus hummed softly with pleasure, rubbing his cheek against Zeb’s furry chest. 

“Do you want to come like that?” Zeb asked, gently touching Kallus all over, stroking his back and ass and thighs and hair. 

“Yeah, come like this,” Kallus murmured dreamily after a few moments, “so good Zeb. Come for you like this so you can fuck me out hard.” Zeb couldn’t help the way his hands clasped on Kallus’ narrow hips at that, greedy for his lover’s body. After two orgasms, Kallus would be utterly boneless with satisfaction, more than able to take the sort of rough fucking it had taken them months to even attempt, given Kallus’ sexual history. 

“Sure?” Zeb asked breathlessly. The idea of letting loose like that was always appealing, but so soon after dealing with Kallus’ issues with spice sensitivity, it didn’t seem like the best idea in the galaxy. 

“Trust you,” Kallus said, shifting just enough so that he could rest both his hands on Zeb’s broad chest and look up into his eyes. “I - I know I have a lot of history, but I - I want to be with you and only you, I want to make bright new memories to blot out all the dark places.”

“Karabast,” Zeb swore, then leaned down to kiss Kallus. “I love you so much.” When he pulled back, Kallus was beaming up at him, and Zeb realized that while Kallus had said it earlier, Zeb hadn’t returned that pledge. “Love you,” Zeb promised, “and not just because you have the tightest little ass I’ve ever had the pleasure of ruining, either.” Kallus chuckled, the sound trailing off into a moan. “That’s it,” Zeb encouraged as he felt Kallus tighten around him.

Kallus shuddered, leaning into Zeb as he tried to remain still. Zeb murmured soft encouragement, hands rubbing gentle warmth over Kallus’ skin and helping him hold position. For all it was a test of his patience and control, one he had failed repeatedly, Kallus loved doing this for Zeb, giving his body, open and vulnerable, to his partner. 

“Feel so good like this,” Kallus breathed. “So full.” Kallus moaned, trembling in Zeb’s arms. He whimpered, nosing against Zeb’s chest, feeling vulnerable and protected at the same time, needy and utterly sated. “So - yours,” Kallus whispered, voice low and soft. He shivered, arching his back slightly to rub their bodies together, loving the feel of Zeb’s warm fur against his skin. Zeb kept touching Kallus all over, reaching around him to knead his ass until Kallus was whimpering. Kallus arched and came hard, the pleasure of the deep penetration finally overwhelming him. 

“Oh fuck,” Zeb swore as Kallus orgasmed, and then he was slamming his lover onto his back and shoving his hips in hard. Kallus screamed, still clenching in orgasm as Zeb ploughed him. He was especially tender after the prolonged joining, and the deep, rough thrusts felt like they’d break him apart. He gasped breathlessly as Zeb stilled, in to the hilt. Zeb shuddered as if shaking moisture out of his fur, letting out a long low groan as he spent, flooding Kallus with hot come. 

Zeb’s barb latched deep, ensuring they’d be linked a little longer, and they kissed deep and sloppy in the aftermath, parting to mouth at necks and ears and other tender places. Even after Zeb’s barb slipped free, they remained like that a little while longer yet, Kallus splayed under Zeb’s warm mass, cradling his lover in his hips. Eventually, Kallus gently pushed at Zeb’s shoulder, needing some air. Zeb knelt up with a grin and pecked Kallus’ mouth, then kissed his way down Kallus’ trembling body, licking up the semen that splattered in his body hair before nuzzling into Kallus’ groin.

“Yes,” Kallus urged softly, rubbing Zeb’s shoulder, and Zeb obliged without complaint, knowing what his lover wanted. He sucked Kallus deep at first, then backed off and took his time, using lips and tongue to clean off Kallus’ spent cock until, over-sensitized, Kallus gently pushed him away. Zeb shifted lower, licking his come out of Kallus’ loose pucker until Kallus pushed him away again. Finally then Zeb knelt up, gathering Kallus back against his chest and flopping down on his back, pulling Kallus down with him so they could snuggle together regardless of the remaining mess.

“Feeling better?” Zeb rumbled softly, gently scratching his fingers over Kallus’ skull.

“Much,” Kallus admitted. “Also like I might sleep for a week.” Zeb snorted softly. 

“Go ahead and rest mate, I’m here,” Zeb reassured, and Kallus shot a soft smile up at him, but didn’t argue, nuzzling against Zeb’s chest affectionately. Zeb let himself drift as well, pleased with the deeper level of trust between them, and hopeful that Kallus was slowly beginning to understand he was so very worthy of love. He knew it wasn’t something that a single day could change, he’d been gently prodding Kallus along this path since Bahryn after all. But Kallus was improving, growing, if sometimes painfully, into a man Zeb was proud to claim as his mate.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @wrennette on pillowfort, tumblr, and dreamwidth, feel free to come say hi!


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